Pookie Que's

Pookie tries hard but he has never mastered the fine art of barbequeing. This week Daddy dropped off a hindquarter of a wild boar that he had killed on a hunting trip. The way that Daddy drinks on his hunting trips, I would wager that it wasn't a shotgun that killed the wild pig but the bumper of his old Chevy Pickup that did the thing in.

Pookie fired up the grill today in order to cook up the hindquarter. He is sooo anal about the way he stacks his wood just so in order to get a good fire started, not like Daddy who just chunks a bunch of wood in the fire throws some gas on it and throws some fire to it. No Pookie has to have it just so. He says the meat will turn out better if he doesn't use lighter fluid. The wood was wet though and so Pookie got out his backup lighter fluid and doused the meager flames that he had going. Pookie should have known better but he was standing to close. How fast does eyebrows grow back anyway?

When the fire burned down a bit, he put the meat on. He spent the whole day piddle farting around with the fire. He had wrapped the meat in Aluminum foil so that it would not be to smoky. When he got the meat out about an hour before it was completely done, he set it on his outdoor table and unwrapped it. He wasn't paying attention and when he put the foil down the hot juices splashed all down the front of his pants.

He was running around like a madman and screaming like a banshee. Hearing the ruckus, I went outside to see what was going on. When I had ascertained the situation, I grabbed the garden hose so that I could cool down his winkie. While I was seeing to his injured manhood, my miniture Dachshund, Muffy, jumped up and wrestled the hindquarter to the ground and started a feeding frenzy.

Oh Well, it looks like Pizza Hut tonight. Ta-Ta's for now, I have to tend to Muffy's tummy ache and Pookies roasted weinie.

Getting Social With The Sisters

Last night was the church social with the women of the tabernacle. I brought my favorite dish, buttered corn on the cob, since it was a potluck affair. The meeting started off pretty normal, with the women talking about their kids and their husbands, but then they started talking about their sister-wives.

Now everyone knows my roots in the trailer park but I had never heard this term. I had heard about Uncle-Daddy's and cousin-sisters but sister-wife was a new term to me. I politely asked Beth, who had invited me, what a sister-wife was. She explained to me that they were a fundamentalist offshoot of the Mormon Church and believed in polygamy and sister-wife was how they described the relationship between the wives of the same husband.

I got it. It was like King Solomon and all his wives but I had so many more questions. She explained to me that she was the first wife of her husband and held in a place of authority in the home and was sort of like a mommy-wife to the other four sister-wives in her home. I asked how the arrangement was made as to who was sleeping with the husband at any given time. She explained that there was a schedule where one wife was on duty and one wife was on-call in case the sister-wife on duty couldn't fulfill her wifely duties in case of that time of the month or state of pregnancy.

I was somewhat in shock but it is big world and different strokes for different folks. I wondered about what the women did to satisfy their needs when they were not on duty. But I didn't have to wait long for the answer. Beth explained to me that these socials were one of the ways to blow off a little steam and get their weekly fix between shifts of duty.

Oooh my, this wasn't a quilting bee by any means. Pretty soon the girls started breaking out the party favors. There were rabbits and hummingbirds and various other toys. Sisterly love filled the air. Beth explained to me that as her husband now had younger wives her time on the rotation had grown less and less and she didn't mind at all. She had acquired a real love for these church socials and it was sooo nice to welcome a new face especially if it was attached to a hot body.

Although Beth might be the mommy-wife, she was still a hottie. I gave in to her tender ministrations and with the aid of her luscious mouth and a vibrating rabbit, my eyes were definitely were opened to the thrill of this exciting religion.

As I left the church hall that evening, I wondered how I would fit into this religion. Lord knows I loved the ladies but what if Pookie decided to take Tessa Tightass or some other skank that I couldn't stand to be my sister-wife. That would truly blow.

Oooh well, It is something to think about. Ta-Ta's for now!!!

A New Philosophy

I have been going to services at Brother Bob's church, The Sling of David Worship Tabernacle. As you remember, I was introduced to Brother Bob through his Inmate Outreach Ministry. I didn't know what to expect but I was floored by the reception that I received. Before the services Brother Bob came out and greeted me personally. He said that it was nice to be able to welcome someone that he had met through his prison ministry. He explained that most of the people he met in the outreach program never came to regular services. He felt that most were only getting jailhouse religion in order to pull one over on the system or just out of boredom. I explained to him that he had really touched me. (That made me giggle because he hadn't touched me nearly as much as I would have liked.)

The parishioners are mostly women for some strange reason. I noticed several instances where five or six women would be escorting one man into the church. The men would look a little bit tired but always seemed to have a happy look in their faces.

Yesterdays services were about King Solomon. I have always loved the stories of Solomon. First off, he was very wise and also very sexy the 'Song of Solomon' is very hot talking of how his lover looks and tastes (in a biblical kind of way). Brother Bob also spoke of how many wives Solomon had. I have to sort of question his judgement on this one though. How could a husband keep up with that many wives? Wouldn't they wear him down to a nub after awhile?

After the service, I met with a group of the women. I told them that I enjoyed the service but I questioned the judgement of a man who would keep that many wives and how he could keep up with satisfying all of them in the days before Viagra. They must have been really amused with this because they all giggled like a bunch of schoolgirls.

One of the girls, Beth, invited me to a church social on Wednesday. She said that it was a place for all of the female parishioners to meet without the menfolk being around and they could let their hair down and talk. I am soo exited it has been such a long time since I have been to a religous social event. I will keep you posted. Ta-Ta's for now!!!

Show and Tell

When it was time for Billy Ray's nap yesterday, I laid him down and went about my usual routine. I went over to the couch and reached under it and it wasn't there. You see everyday when I put Billy Ray down for his nap, I get me that mid-afternoon break. I usually keep all my toys in the bedroom but the day before I was interrupted and had just slipped my little hummingbird vibe under the couch. I got down on my hands and knees and looked but it was not there. I thought that maybe I had put it up and forgotten about it but I could not find it anywhere. I have other toys but this is my favorite and I would hate to lose it. I was sooo upset about losing it that I did not even feel like taking my little vibe break.

When I picked Bobby John up from school yesterday, he had a note in his backpack from his teacher. In the note his teacher had asked if I could meet her in her room during her conference period. It didn't say what the problem was so I prepared for whatever my little hellion had done this time.

So today I dropped off little Billy Ray at Sissy's and headed over to the school. When I got there and went to the teachers room, I found that he had a new teacher. It was not the old crusty teacher that he had started the year with but a pretty young redhead. She insisted that I call her Pam. She said that she had a concern regarding Bobby John's presentation at Show and Tell that day. Then she reached into her drawer and pulled out my little hummingbird vibe.

She said that Bobby John had showed it to the class and told them that it was his mommy's neck massager and went on to explain that it was very tickly and had asked if anyone would like to be tickled. I have to admit that I turned a bit red. I explained that I had left it out once before and he was sitting there and had told me that it tickled his tee tee. I had thought that it was cute but had told him that it was a neck massager and had accidently left it out again and that he must have been impressed with it and that is why he brought it to Show and Tell.

I apoligized for any embarrassment to her or the class but she said not to worry about it. She said that she had never seen one just like it and wondered if it worked as prettily as it looked. I was not embarrassed anymore. I always did like show and tell at school. I walked around to the other side of her desk and rolled her chair back. I slid her skirt up her thigh and placed the hummingbird vibe against her pussy through her now moist panties. I started by turning it on it's low setting slowly warming her up as I slid my hand under her sweater and bra gently massaging her nipples. When I sensed that her breath was quickening and she was ready for more. I turned the vibe to it's high setting and shortly she was bucking in her chair like it was a wild bronco.

Much too soon it was time for her conference period to be over. I left knowing that I had made Bobby John a few brownie points at school and I had got back my hummingbird vibe. All in all, it was a very good day.

Ta-Ta's for now!!!

Chocolate And Leather - That's Valentine's To Me

I am sooo excited!! Tony( the UPS man) just delivered Pookie's Valentines Day gifts. I was beginning to worry that they would not get here in time and I would have to come up with a new plan. Pookie is so dear to me that I wanted to make this day extra special for him. I found a delicious little store online. There was so much to choose from. So with my trusty Visa card in hand, I went shopping!

First I bought a nice sex swing, ( we broke our last one, whoopsie.) This time I made sure I got a quality piece (a quality piece for a quality peice LOL). Next I got an assortment of flavored massage oils, Pookie likes to nibble on me. Then I found a love paddle to replace my old one. It is pretty worn out from spanking Pookie's firm little tushy.

I still needed an outfit for this special night and I found the perfect one! It was a little pricey but I am sure he will think it is worth the price. It's a black leather lace up teddy with garters and stockings and it is crotchless. I fell in love with it. I had to have it. I just love the way leather feels against my body. Oh! I almost forgot my yummiest purchase, a pair of thigh high boots with 5 inch spiked heels. Surely this outfit will have Pookie standing at attention.

Luckily for me Pookies bringing dinner home and I told him to be sure and pick up some Hershey's Syrup (I know that he would love an Ann Sundae and chocolate covered little Pookie sounds awfully sweet to me.) Tony said he would come back after his last delivery and assemble my new swing for me. How sweet is that? Well I better get busy. Hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day.
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Yaay, My guest post is up over at Beauty versus The Beast. It was a lot of fun and I get to tackle the question of how to read the signs of a cheating spouse. A subject near and dear to my heart. I am up against Crazy Dan and he can be sooo mean so please come over and help me.

Ta- Ta's for now!!!

Calling Nurse Ann

One of the reasons that I have been so busy is due to playing nursemaid to Pookie and the boys. I don't know why but it seems that everytime one of them gets sick, the whole bunch ends up sick. I have always been blessed with a strong constitution and am rarely sick so it falls up to me to play nurse for everyone. That is okay because I am remarkably well suited to care for the sick. (It is why I made such a good candy striper at the old folks home.)

Here are a few good tips in being a caring care-giver:

1) Stock plenty of juices and clear liquids. Dehydration can be such a bitch. Juice is pretty explanatory. But clear liquids are a bit tricky. They never define it do they so I always stock plenty of bottled water, and Sprite for the sickies. I also find that stocking Vodka and Tequila for my clear liquids help immensely. Even as easy going and bubbly as I am are strained dealing with sick people for an extended time so when the constant whining turns my thoughts from how sweet and precious the boys are and how warm and wonderful Pookie is to thoughts of gagging the whiny little snotrags and strangling the big Puss that spawned them in his sleep, I just take me a little nip of my special clear liquids and I am as right as rain once more.

2) Slather them up with Vicks. Sure it stinks but why should I suffer alone.

3) Make sure that your vibe's batteries are charged. Sickness plays hell with Pookies libido and besides who wants to give a man a blowjob when he is slathered in Vicks. It not only smells bad but leaves one hell of a bad taste in your mouth. (Maybe that is why I have been a little cranky.)

4) NyQuil is a mommys best helper. The generic is for shit (Take my word for it. My momma in the trailer park tried it and it didn't do squat.) but the real stuff is the shit. Knocks the little buggers right off to dreamland.

Whoopsy there goes the boys little bell again. I guess that it is time for all of us to have some more clear liquids. Oooh well, Ta-Ta's for now.

Whoops

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted. I have been so busy (what with my new workouts, my legal woes, and keeping up with Pookie and the boys) that I haven't had time to post in my little bloggy. But I will be back to posting regularly now, so I am sorry if I kept you waiting. Ta-Ta's for now.