A Night In The Hole: Part I
After dinner Pookie took me to a local honky tonk to scoot a boot and do a little belly rubbing. I think that I had just as many cocktails as dancing. I have always thought that liquor goes down better in a bar. I don't know if it is the atmosphere or something they put in the ice. All I know is it was yummy. Just when I was approaching that supremely happy glow, who did I see but my nemisis, Tessa the Tightass Bitch.
I thought that maybe she didn't see us and I could avoid her but like a bad penny turning up again. She spied us on the dance floor and waved at Pookie and strolled over to us. She asked me if I minded her cutting in and winked at Pookie. I don't know if it was stress or what but I snapped. But like my momma always said if you are going to fight, fight to win. And that means fighting dirty. I told her that there was no way that I was going to stand by while she danced with Pookie and she needed to get her skinny little ass trotting.
After the song ended, I sent Pookie to the bar to get us another drink. I saw the table where Tessa was sitting and talking to some of her uppity friends. Just as she let out one of her shreiking hyena laughs, I walked behind her and grabbed her by the hair on her head and slung her down to the ground.
The bouncers, who witnessed my fury just as I was about to lay my boots to this skank, grabbed me by my arms and escorted me out of the bar. Pookie tried to convince them to let him take me home but they explained that they had already called the police.
When the police arrived, I did not help my cause when I told them that I had friends in high places and they better watch their asses or I would have their badges. Drunkeness has always made me a bit cocky.
They took me down to the police station booked me and some dykey, thick knuckled officer gave me a strip search and a cavity search. I told her that I was no criminal and she could just back off on the orifice intrusion but the gung-ho bitch did it anyway. Oh well I just closed my eyes and went to my happy place and it wasn't too bad; in better circumstances it might have been enjoyable. Then I was escorted to the drunk tank.
That is all that I have time for today but I will be back in a couple of days with the next part of the story. Ta-Ta's for now.