Decking The Halls

This year as I was watching the latino boy that Pookie hired hang the Christmas lights, watching his lean muscles stretch across his tight tee shirt, I got so hot that I knew I must do something to get my mind off of him fucking me right in the front yard. If the job didn't get finished Pookie would get so mad and might never hire the latino boy again and good help is so hard to break in. So I forced myself to think of Chistmas decorations past.

Last year, we had a live nativity scene. The Virgin Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus, and the Wise Men were all statues but we had real live animals in a little corral around the stable. Late at night on Christmas Eve, the motion sensor light came on. Pookie and I sprang from the bed to see if there really was a Santa Claus but that is not what set off the light. A horny neighborhood boy was sodomizing the goat in the nativity scene. Surely he will need rebaptising to keep his little ass out of hell. Can you just imagine? That is Baby Jesus's goat you nasty little fucker.

Then I looked outside to see the latino boys taut ass flex against his jeans as he reached to hang some icicle lights around the porch. I knew I must restrain myself until he finished his work or it would never get done. I knew that I must go deeper into the past and think of the Christmas decorations from the far away trailer park of my youth.

Daddy would always find the biggest, fullest, prettiest tumbleweed and with a can of flocking bought at the Dollar Store, we would have the start of the prettiest tree in the whole trailer park. Mama would pop the corn for Sissy and me to string into garland and then with a little bit of imagination and craftiness the whole family would fashion our handmade ornaments. Mama would take a little bit of craft paint and make peppermint sticks out of tampon applicators. Daddy would hang crushed Budweiser cans on the tree. Daddy always said that Budweiser was the festive beer as the cans are red and white and it is the only time that he would splurge and not buy his usual Milwaukee's Best. Daddy would then lift Sissy and me up to hang the star on the top of the tree. The star was so pretty and as it was made from the aluminum foil inside empty packs of Marlboro's, it would shine and twinkle from the neon Coors sign above the living room couch.

The next time I looked outside, the latino boy was finishing up the last string of lights. I went out to offer him refreshments. After a couple of festive brews, I showed him how after I had trimmed the tree, I had trimmed my bush and airbrushed a tattoo of mistletoe on my belly. He had to kiss below the mistletoe That is the rules you know.

Ta-Ta's for now.

Getting Festive

Whew, it was an exhausting weekend. With Thanksgiving dinner, Black Friday Shopping, making out a christmas list, and decorating for the holidays, a mommies work is never done. I have already posted about our Thanksgiving festivities so I will attempt to briefly touch on a few of the other subjects.

I love shopping the day after Thanksgiving. The spirit of Christmas fills the air and there are always good buys for the early birds willing to fight for them. Sherri, Sally, and myself hit the stores early. Just like with any other sport, it is nice to go in like a team and have a clear cut goal and plan. The first store we hit was Circuit City since all three of us were wanting to pick up some new electronics for our hubbies. The store opened at 7 in the morning and people started lining up at 3 in the morning. I am just not able to function that early in the morning so we got there at 6:30. We had figured right and the front of the line was packed with young gamer nerds hoping to get their hands on an XBox 360 at a discount. This fit perfectly in with our plans. Sherri and Sally started kissing beside the front of the line in order to create a diversion which would allow me to slip into the front of the line. Todays youth are more jaded and hooked on games so it took more than a little kissing to create the needed diversion, and by the time they were through with their little show, the gamers icicles were melted and I was at the front of the line.

The rest of the shopping did not go as smoothly, as most of the stores were filled with mean mommy bitches like the ones that got me kicked out of blog explosion. We got tired of these bitches and decided to go to the Xmall to window shop and make out a Christmas list of gifts for our hubbies to buy us. The Xmall is a cute little strip mall holding a variety of adult stores; there is the Barely There Lingerie Boutique, the Phunky Phun Phurniture Store ( which specializes in bawdy boudoir furniture and accessories), the Honey Pot Gift Store ( for gels, creams, lotions, and toys) , and the Skinamark DVD Outlet. I found a couple of things to put on my Santa list. For one I would like a hanging chair like Dear Jane told me about and I also saw a sybian which looks like a cute little saddle with a wickedly fun saddlehorn. I had always asked Santa for a pony when I was a little girl but Daddy always told me that Santa couldn't bring me one because there was nowhere to keep it in the trailer park. But the sybian looks like a much better pony anyway. You don't have to feed it and the only cleaning it requires is a wet wash cloth and a bottle of sex toy cleaning fluid.

Sherri and Sally found all kinds of things for their list and some things I remembered as to get them as stocking stuffers ( lol, doesn't that sound yummy funny) and a few little things we got to take home. We all went back to Sally's and tried out some of the things from the Xmall. It was so much fun but I got an allergic reaction from the vaginal warming gel and my tongue developed a painful rash. Oh well, it went away the next day.

Shoot, I am too tired to talk about the christmas decorations so I will be back Wednesday to let everyone know how that came out. Ta-Ta's for now.

Home For The Holiday

This year Pookie and I decided to stay home for Thanksgiving. We usually take turns spending the holiday between my family in the trailer park over in Fort Worth or his family in the snooty suburb of Richardson. But as the last two years have been a disaster, we decided to spend quality time with Bobby John and Billy Ray at home.

Last year was spent at my familys. I was so proud of Daddy to see that he had put on his cleanest wife-beater but Pookie was not entertained when he couldn't watch the football games because Daddy wouldn't flip the channel from the Animal Planet Mating marathon. Pookie got soo horny watching animals fuck that we went out back so I could give him a blow job. We didn't see the kids playing in the back yard and they spied us. All through the Thanksgiving meal, Sissies little girl Alicia was imitating our little tryst by sucking on a drumstick. She kept raking her teeth along the bone making a horrible noise. Sissy jumped on her little butt and asked her what she was doing and the little darling said that she was practicing to be just like her Auntie Ann. Sissy through a hissy fit and screamed at her that she was not going to grow up to be a cocksucking whore and to get the bone out of her mouth. Sissy is such a frigid bitch. She has never got over the fact that her husband left her for a man. When he was walking out the door, he shot back that if she gave a blow job as good as her sister, he would never have turned gay. She was soo mad that I was complimented for sucking a cock as good as a queer.

The year before at Pookie's family, I will only say that we accidently embarrassed Pookie's mother. We were playing our favorite Thanksgiving sex role game of Pocahontas and the Pilgrim. she mistook my 'WOO WOO' sound for the fire alarm and walked in as I was 'gobbling his giblets' (hee hee).

This year after the Thanksgiving Feast and the boys were taking a little nap, Pookie and I laughed about the past two Thanksgivings. I don't know if he laughed soo hard because it was soo funny or because I was tickling his asshole with my Pocahontas feather.

Ohh well. Happy Thanksgiving and Ta-Ta's for now.

Maybe Busted But I've Got The Whip

This weekend on my way home from taking the little crumbcrunchers to their Grammy's over at the trailer park in Fort Worth, I was busted. I looked in my rearview mirror and noticed the flashing lights of a motorcycle cop. I wasn't too worried as I have always been able to 'work' my way out of any ticket.

When the patrolman walked to my car, I knew I was in luck. He was a Latino man looking so macho in his leather boots and tight pants. I flirted with him at the window and noticed his name tag said Sgt. Estrada. I giggled and asked him if he was related to Eric Estrada and he said that yes he was his son but was estranged from his father and hadn't spoken to him in awhile.
After finding out that I was home alone as Pookie was working this weekend and my kids were at their Grammy's, he said it would probably be best if he escorted me home and talk about my 'violation' there.

I invited him in to look at my recent redecoration and he was more than happy to take a look. When we got to the bedroom I flipped the switch on the lights in the false beam, which also flipped on the camera. He undressed me, squeezing my nipples leaving me breathless. He nuzzled my neck and whispered what he wanted and needed. It seemed a little kinky but I am always up for a little kink.

He stripped off his clothes and got down on all fours where I could handcuff him to the footboard of the bed. I am so glad that this was still in view of the camera. I then put on my thigh high boots and got out my cat-o-nine tails. I whipped his ass as he screamed that he had been a bad boy and needed punishment and to give him more. I placed my foot under his eager mouth so he could lick my boots. Then I put on my strap on dildo, the black lucky 13" dildo with knobbies, and shoved it up his ass. He moaned, 'Fuck Me, Harder, Faster', so I obliged him. Then I reached around his waist and jerked his cock until he exploded onto the floor.

As he was leaving, he wrote me a warning ticket. With the roar of the motorcycle echoing down the street, I read the warning ticket. It said that to get out of the violation next time, I would need to get a larger accesory for my strap on dildo.

I know Pookie will enjoy the tape, he's a friend of the force you know. But now I have to add carpet cleaner to my Thanksgiving Day shopping list. Well Ta-Ta's for now.

Home Decorating Ala Ann

As you know if you have read my profile, I just love Trading Spaces. I prefer the older episodes with Paige Davis. She is soo cute and soo perky and when she talks about tongue and groove flooring, I get positively sticky.

I have been wanting to do some home decorating of my own and Pookie finally let me design OUR NEW BEDROOM. It was soo boring and it really showed on the video tapes that we like to make. Excepting mega-flab or boring sexplay absolutely nothing ruins a homemade porno like a terrible set.

The first thing that I did was paint the walls a nice nuetral color. You don't want the walls to clash with any sexy outfits. Then I created a false beam on the ceiling with lightweight wood. This was to house lighting and a camera. The tripod on the floor looks tacky and if the action gets heavy you can crash into it and get a yucky bruise. Then I bought black sheets and a black comforter and shams. A word to the wise; light colors glare and glare is not nice. You might glare out the best parts and that sucks. I like all my parts to show.

I bought a new wardrobe to hold all my lingerie and sex-role outfits. You don't want to be fumbling through your flannel nighties in order to find your Wonder Woman outfit. Pookie helped me install a stripper pole. He loves to watch the way that I can handle a pole. I also took some used Kleenex boxes and painted them to hold toys, handcuffs, jells, and creams. I just love being crafty.

Now it is all done and tonite me and Pookie will try it out. I slipped him some extra Viagra just like the real Porn Stars so I know he won't be too tired!! Well Ta-Ta's for now.

Hiding The Roots

When Pookie got home this evening, he blindsided me. He explained that at the office today Tessa asked him if he was sure that Billy Ray was his child since his complexion is so much darker than either his or mine. And that she convinced him that he should take a DNA test on Billy Ray to be sure that he is the father.

I broke out crying and then flew into a rage. 'How can you doubt me like a common tramp.(Nothing about me is common.) I have always remained faithful to you and your family. And every man that I have ever been with you have been there or at least seen the video tape.' It worked and he apoligised for doubting me. Stick to the story that is the moral of every episode of Cold Case Files.

I do not know why I couldn't tell Pookie of Billy Ray's conception then and I certainly cannot tell him now. I had left Bobby John with Pookie and gone to the store to get bred. (Oopsy misspell should have been bread.) On the way to the store, I noticed a bus broke down on the side of the road. Like the Good Samaritan that the minister preaches about, I stopped to see if I could help. The driver explained that a limo was coming to pick up the musician and a wrecker had already been called to pick up the tour bus. I was excited to find out that this was a tour bus with a famous musician inside and nearly fainted when the driver asked if I would like to check out the bus and meet the musician.

The first thing that I noticed on the bus was a smell that was like an exotic scented candle. The driver introduced me to the musician, who I will call Rapper X, then left to wait on the wrecker. Rapper X showed me around the bus and I noticed a beautiful vase. When I mentioned that I liked his vase he laughed and said that it wasn't a vase but a water pipe and would I like to smoke some shit. I told him that I didn't even smoke tobacco and it took me the longest time to get used to the smell of shit while changing Bobby John's diapers and there was no way that I was going to smoke shit. He laughed and said it wasn't really shit but a medicinal herb that would help me relax. This is something that every mommy could use and besides I have always wanted to try homeopathic medicine.

Boy did it ever work. After one puff, I was totally relaxed and the next few puffs went straight to my pussy. That is when Rapper X told me that he would like to hit it. I was shocked and told him that I thought we were having a good time and did not know why he wanted to get violent. He laughed and said that he didn't really want to hit me but would like to do me Doggy Dog style since he admired the junk in my trunk. I do not know what the condition of my car's trunk had to do with anything but I am always in the mood for a good fuck and under the effects of the medicinal herb, I was eager.

As I was getting off the bus, the limo pulled up. Rapper X told me that my pussy was the shizzle. I really don't know what the shizzle means but I guess doing all those Kegal exercises paid off.

Oh well disaster averted or at least postponed. Ta-Ta's for now.

Titty Titty

Yesterday afternoon my little kitty-cat, who goes by the name of Titty Titty, ran outside as Bobby John went out to play. When Bobby John came back inside, he didn't bring Titty Titty back in with him. I was worrien as she is an indoors kitty and doesn't realize how cruel the world can be. My mind raced with a thousand thoughts. What if she got ran over by a car or wandered around hungry until she was forced to eat scraps outside a Chinese Food Restaurant and ended up as Sweet and Sour Titty Titty.

I searched outside frantically for Titty Titty but could find her nowhere. I called out, Titty Titty - Titty Titty - Titty Titty. That is when I noticed the fat ass neighbor Mr. Moobsman raking leaves in his yard. He grabbed his big man boobs and shook them at me. "You talking about these", he yelled. I screamed back,"No These", as I pulled up my top and flashed my tits at him. Uhh, nasty moobs man, GROSS!!! His might have been a little bigger but mine are a lot prettier, I assure you.

That is when Titty Titty pounced from behind the bushes. I guess it was the sight of Mommie's breasts that made her come running. I was so happy to see her unharmed. I don't know what I would do without my Titty Titty. I just love the way she licks cream :D

Now I am off to get the kids ready for Sunday services. I just love hearing the minister speak of sins of the flesh. It makes me all tingly inside. Ta Ta's for now.

The Boss Is A Bitch

The dinner yesterday evening was a complete and horrid disaster. When Pookie showed up with his boss, it wasn't Mr. Weinke his kindly old boss. I liked him he was so kind, generous, and fun. At the annual Christmas party last year, he helped me sit on the copy machine and then helped post the picture of my ass on all of the companies bulletin boards. Afterwards he gave me a twenty dollar bonus just for letting him keep my dirty panties. But noo it wasn't Mr. Weinke, it was his new boss, Tessa 'Tightass' Taylor.

The evening started out well, I had made a scrumptious meal and a neighborhood girl, Kellie, had agreed to keep my little hellions. When Pookie got home, his new boss took me aback but since she had a cute little tushy and perky breasts, I knew that this evening could be a lot of fun. After the main dish, I slipped off and put on my French Maid Oufit and brought in the dessert:ME.

I eased to the table beside her and sprayed some Reddi-Whip from the can onto my nipples and offered her the first lick. She had the nerve to call me a little tramp and said that it was a wonder that Pookie has stayed with me for so long and that I should be ashamed of myself. Then she told me that she has been 'draining' Pookie at work so that he wouldn't have to service his slutty wife when he came home.

I was so upset that I slapped the bitch and ran upstairs crying. I am sure that Pookie did this tightass little bitch right in our own living room. I can't believe that he would stick his thingy in anyone that was so cruel to me. Later when the boss had left, I went to pick up the kids from Kellie's. Not even the sight of her cute little cotton panties peeking from underneath the skirt of her schoolgirl uniform as she was picking up Billy Ray made me feel better.

I spent the night crying on the couch. This morning Pookie explained that he was doing the boss for us and she was forcing him to service her as part of his raise and promotion. He said that I was the one he loved and Tessa meant nothing to him. I was so happy that I really made an effort to give him the best morning blowjob ever but I lost it and started crying again when I got the funny taste of her nasty twat in my mouth.

But I will get that bitch back, just you wait and see. Ta-Ta's for now.

Kids Do The Cutest Things

Today when Bobby John got out of Pre-K, I went to fix him a snack. I got out the bag of Cheetos but when I went to get him his fruit juice, the bottle was empty. I searched for some kiddie appropriate drink and low and behold there it was; A bottle of Boone's Farm Apple Wine. It is made of fruit juice and Jesus turned water into wine and Jesus wouldn't make anything icky or bad for kids so it had to be good for him. After that I set him up in the living room with a Sponge Bob DVD and went back to the utility room to do some laundry.

I did three loads and was exhausted. The spin cycle really took it out of me. I went back to check on Bobby John and Billy Ray and was I ever surprised. Bobby John had found my hummingbird vibrator under the couch and strapped it to his little tallywhacker with a Scooby Doo Bandaid. He looked up at me with the cutest little smile and said to me, "Mommy, it tickles my tee-tee". ISN'T HE THE CUTEST THING!!! I was really impressed with his ingenuity maybe he will grow up to be an engineer or start a toy business. I can see it now, 'Bobby John's Boner Buddies'.

Oh well I have been so busy preparing for the upcoming dinner with the boss. Wish me luck. Ta Ta's for now.

Good News

The good news is that Pookie got his raise and a promotion at work. He was so happy. When the crumb crunchers went to bed, he treated me to candlelight and bathed me in a hot luscious bubblebath. He felt so bad about not giving me a kiss goodbye that morning that he licked my cinnamon ring like when we first met. At first I was hesitant as my poor little pooper was sore from the hard anal pounding from that morning, but his tender ministrations had the little booger winking with delight in no time at all and soon I was ready to take all he could give but he fell asleep. Oh well he has been working hard so I just finished up with some of my slumber party toys.

The past few days have been trying. Pookie still enjoys his morning blowjob but lately he has been coming in drained. Even the little blue pills haven't helped that much. I was feeling so undersexed that even my toys from the slumber party have left me unfulfilled. That is why I called the plumber to install a new pulsating showerhead in the shower.

After the plumber installed the showerhead, he offered to stay and watch me shower to make sure everything was working properly. After the final wave of my orgasm pulsed through my body, Freddy the plumber said that everything appeared to work properly but that he would feel better if he snaked my drain. Now I know why they call him the Roto-Rooter man. I will never look at a plumbers crack the same way again. But I better watch it when we got out of the shower, I was as pruny and wrinkly as an old geezers nut sack. And I should know from my days as a candy striper in a nursing home.

Pookie told me this evening before he crashed out that he was bringing his boss home for dinner Wednesday night. Maybe when the boss sees that Pookie isn't the only 'worker bee' in the family, Pookie will get a bonus. For dinner I was thinking of cooking a Pot Roast and some new potatoes and for dessert maybe a nice flavor of edible panties, hee hee. Oh I know everything will work out perfectly.Wish me luck. I will be back Thursday to tell you how it went. Ta-Ta's for now!!!

Getting a Raise!

So today Pookie is going up for a big promotion! I had to make sure he was nice and relaxed. He gets so tense and stressed during business meetings. So I woke up early this morning to give him his morning blow job and for some reason my poor Pookie just couldn't get it up. He was soo sad, but I told him not to worry about it we can have a little breakfast before the kids get up. Plus, I know just how to deal with a Mr. Limpy. So I grabbed a couple of Viagra I have hidden away for when I go do mission work at the nursing home and I crushed it up and placed some in his orange juice. In no time Pookie was ready for his BJ! So like a good little housewifey I gladly took matter into my hands... and mouth! Turns out I may have put to much Viagra in his OJ because no matter what I did it stayed rock hard! A few minutes later I started to hear little Billy Ray crying, so I told Pookie I would have to go upstair and check on Billy Ray. My hands were cramping! I went up to his room to see what was wrong. My hubby followed me and as I leaned over his cradle Pookie pulled up my gown slid my panties over. He whispered in my ear, I need something a little tighter then your mouth, and started doing me anally! It hurt at first, but it might not be as tight as he thought! (Hee Hee) I finally calmed down Billy Ray and Pookie didn't last much longer, he always gets off quick with an audience. He then started cussing saying I made him late and he ran downstairs to his car and peeled out trying to get to work on time. He didn't even give me a kiss goodbye! :(