Toby Keith vs Yhe Wiggles

We were on the way to Pookie's office for lunch today when Toby Keith came on. I turned the radio up.

"Wiggles?" came a sharp reply from the backseat.

"No, Toby Keith. We like Toby Keith, don't we Billy Ray?" I pondered, thinking of many a drunken trailer park nights drinking tequila and slurring to "Blue Moon."

"Wiggles!" screamed Billy Ray.

Listen up my little broken condom, there's apparently very little that I can control in the world and it's your sad luck that one thing I do happen to have power over is my car's radio. Nah, nah, nah, nah boo-boo Now, you will sit quietly and listen to Toby as I try to maneuver through the Projects to pick up my daily crack rocks before meeting Pookie.

Kids at Play

I am convinced Billy Ray's first words are going to be "OHHH Sherri". Is it my fault she always comes over and cums? Well maybe the last part is. Hehehehe. Anyway... back to what I was going to write about. I live on a pretty slow street traffic wise. The speed limit is 30, but that maybe too fast I think it should be 10. What is Bobby John or Billy Ray got hurt? I just let them run around in the front yard while I'm busy. I mean who would harm my little cuties? There are a about dozen kids on this street so people should know to slow down. The other day though I noticed that people go far to fast on the road. Why are they trying to qualify for NASCAR. Now I love NASCAR as much as my ex-boyfriend Bobby Joe does, but enough is enough. I don't live in the trailer park anymore thank you very much! This is a neighborhood and kids should be allowed to play. Me and some neighbors even got together and created a sign with glitter paint and everything that says "caution, children at play". I don't understand why people don't follow it. It's mommy's law in the suburbs! Last night there was an incident and this mommy is still fired up! A car came around the corner and was easily going 31 mph, easily. So I stepped out into the street. He slowed but didn't stop. There were 2 other mommies out at the time and we all yelled SLOW DOWN!! About 15 minutes later this guy comes back with a few friends, races up where we are, slams on his brakes and yells "the speed limit is 30, keep your f*****g kids out of the street" Well we allowed him and his friends to pull a train on us, but let me tell you I was not a happy camper and I did not swallow like that slut Amy! When they finished they went back in their car and peeled out flipping us the bird! How immature can you get?

Corn of the Cob

I can't believe sooo many people are reading my little bloggie! How did you know I was such a good cook too! I have all the receipes that you asked for and here is my corn on the cob recipe:

Grilled Corn on the Cob
Obviously you need corn and your favorite butter. I like Land of Lakes. First thing to do is to get your pookie to heat up the grill. Fire is a little to complicated for us women so get your husband to tend to it. Now the fun part buttereing your corn.

Make sure your butter is soft that way it will easily spread from your hands. Be gentle, yet firm with the corn. If the corn has an unusual girth, your hand may not completely encircle it. In such cases, try both hands to insure you don't miss any of the tender areas while buttering. The movements should be swift and smooth, without bumping or stalling.

One of the secrets of good buttered corn is varying your hand motions. Here are a few indispensable techniques:

• Bring both well-buttered hands down on the corn. Some cobs are so big they require both hands. If your corn's doesn't, then use the other hand grip the base of the corn's shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft, move them together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you're holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands, one up, one down at the same time. There's no doubt that two hands are better than one.
• Bring one hand down, letting it stroke the corn from the top all the way to the bottom. When it hits the bottom, release it. Meanwhile you're bringing your corresponding hand down to the top of the shaft, creating an alternating beating motion. Think of those blacksmith duos who keep up a double beat pounding motion as they beat that rod of iron on a piping-hot anvil.
• Take the corn in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the corn's shaft. In order to visualize the position, think of yourself holding a clarinet. Now flick the corn back and forth between your two hands evenly buttered. Shuttling it back and forth in this manner may not seem incredibly thrilling at first, pretty soon, as it builds up momentum, it will butter the corn. Buttering via this method is sometimes messy, but the results are alway memorable.

After you've buttered the corn wrap each ear of corn in double thickness heavy-duty aluminum foil; tightly seal top and sides. Have you hubbie place corn on grill directly over coals. Grill, turning every 5 minutes, until tender 20 to 25 minutes.

A Crazy Afternoon

So the minister and his wife Sherri left just a few minutes ago. Those two are just the funniest people! Then I had to clean and sort everything away as my husband comes home in about an hour. Speaking of come I came 3 times! That Sherri is just a little wild thing down in the muff. Anyway, I went to get Billy Ray out of the closet he was so quiet today I thought maybe he was taking a nap. Nope he wasn't, he was making all kinds of noise I guess I didn't here him over me and Sherri's moaning. A few minutes later I let Bobby John in from outside. He was cute I think he played zoo animals the entire time. He was walking around and making noises like a monkey. So I took the little tykes and put them in front of the TV to watch a little TBN in Bobby John found me and Sherri’s yellow dildo. He asked what it was and I told him it was a banana and you know what the little cutie did he pretended to eat it! LOL, precious! He asked me "Mommy, why does the banana taste funny?" So I took it from him and told that's just because it's greasy you know it's picked in South America! Anyway, that was my day.

My Minister Said...

I want to talk about the evilness that has spread and how liberals are trying to infect our kids with their nasty propaganda and Satanist ideals.

1. Harry Pooter - My minister said that Harry Pooter is the devil. So don't let your kids read or watch this satanic propaganda. Only bad thing will happen.
2. Spongebong Gaypants - My minister said Spongebong Gaypants is a quire and it's only ok if women sleep with women. It's not okay men men sleep with men.
3. Blues Balls - Yeah bestiality that Steve loves his doggy just a little too much. My minister said Steve was the devil.
4. Dickolodeon - My minister said we should only watch TBN all other channels are the Devil.

Well that's all I can think of right now. My minister and his wife are comeing over for a three way and I need to get ready. I hope Billy Ray is a good little boy and keeps quiet in the closet.

Stall Talk

So yesterday I was at McDonald's with my little hell raisers when I had to go to the potty. So I did what any good mommy does and told the little angels to go play outside while Mommy took a big ole shit. LOL. Any while I was on the pot I decided to call my pookie bear. Next thing ya know a lady comes in at joins me in the other stall. This woman had the nerve to try and talk to me! I couldn't believe it; this lady doesn't know we're in a restroom? I mean who talks to someone why they are taking a poo poo. Anyway, as I'm talking to pookie I hear this lady pee she must have really needed to go because it was really loud. After I'm finished I wipe my cute little ass and go to wash my hands and take an extra long time to see who this lady is, but she never comes out. I guess she really needed to go. Oh well I guess she just wanted some company!

My Family

Here is our new family portrait. Isn't Billy Ray sooooo cute, he looks just like his daddy!

New Design Soon.

Wow this is so exciting!