Decking The Halls
Last year, we had a live nativity scene. The Virgin Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus, and the Wise Men were all statues but we had real live animals in a little corral around the stable. Late at night on Christmas Eve, the motion sensor light came on. Pookie and I sprang from the bed to see if there really was a Santa Claus but that is not what set off the light. A horny neighborhood boy was sodomizing the goat in the nativity scene. Surely he will need rebaptising to keep his little ass out of hell. Can you just imagine? That is Baby Jesus's goat you nasty little fucker.
Then I looked outside to see the latino boys taut ass flex against his jeans as he reached to hang some icicle lights around the porch. I knew I must restrain myself until he finished his work or it would never get done. I knew that I must go deeper into the past and think of the Christmas decorations from the far away trailer park of my youth.
Daddy would always find the biggest, fullest, prettiest tumbleweed and with a can of flocking bought at the Dollar Store, we would have the start of the prettiest tree in the whole trailer park. Mama would pop the corn for Sissy and me to string into garland and then with a little bit of imagination and craftiness the whole family would fashion our handmade ornaments. Mama would take a little bit of craft paint and make peppermint sticks out of tampon applicators. Daddy would hang crushed Budweiser cans on the tree. Daddy always said that Budweiser was the festive beer as the cans are red and white and it is the only time that he would splurge and not buy his usual Milwaukee's Best. Daddy would then lift Sissy and me up to hang the star on the top of the tree. The star was so pretty and as it was made from the aluminum foil inside empty packs of Marlboro's, it would shine and twinkle from the neon Coors sign above the living room couch.
The next time I looked outside, the latino boy was finishing up the last string of lights. I went out to offer him refreshments. After a couple of festive brews, I showed him how after I had trimmed the tree, I had trimmed my bush and airbrushed a tattoo of mistletoe on my belly. He had to kiss below the mistletoe That is the rules you know.
Ta-Ta's for now.